There are two things we were taught about fitness that are incredibly detrimental to our well-being. These two things are “no pain no gain” and “more is better”. What we really should have been taught is “no pain no injury”! Pain is your sacred partner (your body) speaking in the language of sensation saying, “PLEASE STOP”! How about instead of pain there’s simply activation. This way there’s no atrophy and simultaneously no irritation or injury. Remember the harder you are on anything the faster you destroy it which is the opposite of health yet if you ignore your body it will atrophy. So, if you want to last a long time feeling as amazing as possible the last thing you want is avoidance or aggression. Kinda like walking isn’t sitting or running, it’s moderate or gentle.
Let’s unpack this a little further. One key is to make sure that you’re not exercising to change yourself! From a very early age we have been erroneously taught that there’s something wrong with us. This is not only a psychological tactic used everywhere from religion to school even in parenting and of course throughout the media which is a tactic used to get us to follow or to buy their products. We are told we are not good enough, strong enough, loose enough, pretty enough, young enough, thin enough, rich enough, smart enough, liked enough etc. Are you balding? Yuck buy this, are you overweight? Yuck buy this, are your teeth not white enough? Yuck buy this, Muscles to small? Yuck buy this! So, most people are unwittingly using exercise to change themselves because they’ve been convinced that there’s something wrong with them.
Firstly: We are exercising to care for ourselves. There’s a big difference between exercising to change yourself and exercising to care for yourself. When we exercise to care for ourselves, care happens. When we exercise to change ourselves, care doesn’t happen. When we exercise to change ourselves there tends to be a lot of force and aggression because that’s what you have to do to make yourself fit some cultural paradigm you’re not meant to fit. I see it as people making themselves sick trying to look pretty. When you exercise to care for yourself the exercise is gentle and even sensual. It has to be gentle (another word for moderation) as gentleness is the key to all healthy relationships including the one we have with our bodies. Imagine a relationship with another person. If you’re forceful or inflict pain upon them they won’t want to be your friend. Similarly, if you avoid them and never make an effort to connect or communicate with them they wont want to be your friend. Yet if you make an effort to connect and communicate with them frequently in a gentle manner, they will be your friend. It’s really no different with your body. Avoidance and aggression are harmful, yet frequent and moderate (gentle) activity is highly beneficial.
Lastly, we have been taught that more is better. Bigger, stronger, faster, quicker, looser, richer, thinner etc… Yet this is absurd! It’s so obvious at least to those not programmed by our culture that more is actually the same as not enough. As they are both extremes. How about instead of more we try to achieve the “right” amount which in many cases could actually be less. There has never been any proof that once you have your health and wellbeing that having more (muscle, beauty, youth or money) makes you happier or healthier! So, remember we are not exercising to change ourselves we are exercising to care for ourselves and the only way you could ever care for anything is to touch it gently so spread the word!
Sincerely, bryan
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