These Paleo Brownies are made in the food processor and are a no-bake, healthy treat that is loaded with superfoods and protein! Easy and delicious!
This is one of those recipes that you don’t really know what to call it.
Do I call it a protein brownie even though it lacks ALL of the not-so-waistline friendly qualities of what we know and love to shovel into our faces, to be a brownie?
Do I call it a date square because, well, it’s made from dates?
I don’t think I even have to tell you why I didn’t call it a “date square.” Your taste buds would probably rather watch paint dry than eat something with SUCH a boring name.
Do I call them fudgy chocolate chunk brownies even though you don’t make them?
The only way to solve this was to seek outside influence. I thought about ambushing the neighbours, tying them to a chair and feeding them unnamed-healthy-not-baked-goods until they had no choice but to help me on my naming quest.
But, considering they only ever seen me in leopard print pajama pants with a trench coat and bring pink boots on, wandering around outside, they already think I’m nuts.
Hey, I work from home. When I have to take my dog outside for 5 minutes, this girl ain’t taking the time to get dressed and look fancy.
So, I resorted to plan B.
Sneaky-ninja-attack the husband into secretly naming the creation for me..WITHOUT HIM KNOWING. Here’s how to do it:
Step 1. As soon as husband walks in the door, have him sit down and proclaim that you have made the BEST SWEET TREAT EVER.
Step 2. Ignore him when he asks (like he ALWAYS does) “what’s it made of?” You want him to be unbiased.
You also don’t want him to know it’s full of health and made from dates and KALE. He will get all pre-judgey on you.
Step 3. Make him take a bite. Let him chew for a second or 6. You don’t want to rush him. You need to make sure it’s the right name.
And, JUST as I was about to ponder what step 4 would be, he goes “YUM! What kind of BROWNIE is THIS?!”
DING DING DING. Dilemma solved.
Which then I responded “only the most good fo’ yo’ body protein brownie that JUSTSOHAPPENS to be Paleo-friendly, packed with superfoods, made in the FOOD PROCESSOR AND doesn’t require an oven.”
His eyes glazed over as he devoured brownie #2. Too much information at once does that to him.
Word of advice to you:
When your loved one bites into these ULTRA fudgy, thick, rich and naturally sweet easy gluten free dairy free brownies with bright bursts of blueberry, just keep the name to a minimum.
Healthy Paleo Brownies. That’s all they need to know.
Paleo Brownies Recipe
- 1 1/2 cups Slivered Almonds (130g)
- 3 cups Pitted Dates roughly chopped, lightly packed (440g)
- 3/4 cup Grass-Fed Whey Chocolate Protein Powder
- 1/4 cup Unsweetened Cocoa Powder plus 2 tablespoons and more for dusting
- 3 ounces Dark Chocolate roughly chopped
- 3/4 cup Kale torn and firmly packed
- 3/4 cup Unsweetened Coconut Flakes
- 1 cup Blueberries fresh, not frozen (140g)
- 1 tablespoon Coconut Oil melted
- 1/2 cup Pomegranate Seeds
Line an 8×8 inch pan with parchment paper, letting the parchment hang over the sides. Sprinkle evenly with a little bit of cocoa powder until the parchment in covered. Set aside
Place the almonds in a large processor and process until broken down. Place the dates in and continue processing until a crumbly mixture forms.
Add in the protein powder, cocoa powder and dark chocolate. Process until crumbly and broken down.
Add in the kale and coconut flakes and process until the kale turns into very small pieces.
Add in the fresh blueberries and process until the mixture darkens and starts clumping together. Finally drizzle In the coconut oil and process until the dough sticks together.
Pour the mixture into a bowl and gently stir in the pomegranate seeds. Turn the mixture into the prepared pan and press down with clean hands. It will be sticky.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before cutting into bars and DEVOUR.
Chilling the bars before cutting is KEY, or else they are very sticky. I recommend chilling them and then lifting them out of the pan, slicing them and then immediately placing into an air-tight container with parchment paper in between the layers. Store them in the refrigerator.