Delight and devastation. We belong to both, sisters of the same. Moving through and between. Moving like rivers towards whatever is next and trying not to attach to any of it. Life is a profound journey of healing as we embrace the entire glorious, horrific story. We feel the fear and yet we must move in the direction of the heart. Do it! Live it.
I love the quality of faith rather than the need to hold belief. Belief implies a preconception about the way reality should be. Faith is the willingness to experience reality as it is, including the shit and the shine of acceptance in the unknown. Belief may impede spiritual unfoldment since my intellect never gets any of this. Faith arises from my heart with its profound broken moments of revealing its fragile humanness.
I’m a lesson in vulnerability. To begin to feel the full effect of my crash, life is a moment to moment experience in acceptance of uncertainty. I have faith in my healing, and yet I don’t believe how this amazing life unfolds. I just know. I can not control, but I can influence, my response.
Consciousness is a full-body phenomena beyond the limits of our small brain stem. There is a beauty in the form of the flower, its essence is its scent. What is our essence as human beings? Perhaps it is pure love.
Beyond my thoughts of having to prove my value, maybe my acceptance of other human beings’ cruel actions arises from the fear of letting go. Just hold a puppy, a kitten or a baby and notice how the entire limbic system slows down. Touch, feel, and notice how love recomposes the brain.
This has been a harsh year of healing and yet my heart is full with the wonder and the miracle of living it. Pain is not something to avoid; sit is discomfort and notice the mind running to get out of it. Breathe into the discomfort and forgive the attachment to fixing; accept the process of transformation.
All around me, structures are shifting, bones are breaking, and foundations are asking to be re-rooted in greater integrity, support and stability. Be still and notice the mind’s need to control the outcome. To avoid the fear, we overdo, we push, we bully to survive. This is our nature as humans and yet our true essence is greater.
War and peace are the same coin, the inner battle between our little mind of survival and the greater Self of our soul. My mind can be my best friend or my worst nightmare.
The beauty of witnessing my thoughts, my words and action arise when I CAN SIT. I practice not feeding those thoughts and focus on the vibration of my inner sound, my breath. My pain, my doubts, my need to fix is my habit.
In forgiveness of my learned mind, I witness and maybe, just maybe, I can move in another direction. I can move inward with my mind and establish a relationship with my deeper self. I am love; I am this.
I might never believe it, but this “knowing” leads me into something greater. I can hold the opposites and be aware I have a choice. I choose to love, to laugh, and to heal my heart one moment at a time. Celebrating new beginnings, grieving endings, and living in the space in between.
This last week, our sweet Joyce fell and suffered a broken femur and is currently in a rehabilitation facility. It would be so healing for her to hear from any of her students. She will be out for a long while so please send your cards to the studio, and we will make sure she receives them. Many of you know that Joyce is also turning 82 on Saturday, January 14 so birthdays cards are also appreciated!
Joyce Eickmeyer Owens
c/o Yoga Among Friends
4949 Forest Ave.
Downers Grove, IL 60515
Love and light,
Laura Jane
